So here I am, high as a kite that accidentally went into orbit and is being burned by the friction of the ionosphere (needless to say I wasnt having fun) and I realize I am no longer afraid of death. I close my eyes, being cradled by the one I love and slip in to what I presumed would be my last living moments. Death no longer seems like an enemy to me, but a godsend for when you hurt so much that it would be better to slip away. I kissed my lover on the cheek and slowly (for what seemed like days) lowered my head to the pillow and spiraled into the darkness like a dime sinking to the bottom of the pool.

All I can hear is beautifull, relaxing music... I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Deathcab for Cutie. It seemed fitting and romantic (especially with my lover by my side).

Then something amazing happened. I woke up, near comatose and walked up to the couch and stared around almost all day, taking in the gift of life. Since then I have been so relaxed, rational, clearly thought that I truly value my life. All the things I hate about me are slowly dissapearing. No more impatience, no more anger, no more incompassion. But who knows, its been a week and I still feel this way, but it could be temporary. Alls I know now is that Im taking care of my self. No longer for fear of death, but for those I love all around me.